NARRATOR: The seven stages of quitting coffee. Step one: your family lovingly suggests you give up coffee. SHELDON: It's just... You sure drink a lot of that stuff. GRAMP: You're right.
NARRATOR: Step two: the immediate energy crash the next day. GRAMP: Too... Tired... To... Finish... Putting... On... Pants... ARTHUR: LOVELY.
NARRATOR: Step three: the uncontrollable sweats. ARTHUR: Whoa... What smells like hamper? GRAMP
NARRATOR: Step four: the nighttime headaches. GRAMP: The pressure! It's like Rosie O'Donnell is sunbathing on my head! ARTHUR: Man... That's fairly descriptive.
NARRATOR: Step five: success! No headaches, no cravings. GRAMP
OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)
NARRATOR: Step six: you take one, tiny sip from a Starbucks sampler at the mall. Starbucks employee: We call that blend "triple muy caro". GRAMP
NARRATOR: Step seven: your family lovingly suggests you give up coffee. ARTHUR: Hey champ - maybe you should give up c - GRAMP (holding a coffee pot, Wearing a coffee hat): Bugs. BUGS. ...They're everywhere.