How Can We Sexy Up Uncle Ben's Rice?

Funny you mention sexing up Uncle Ben's. In Canada, they (I'm pretty sure it's Uncle Ben's) have been running a commercial for a couple of months. In it, a young woman comes running downstairs in a bra and stockings to eat her rice. The tag line is 'Ready before you are'.

It seemed pretty random, but now it's starting to make sense.

"(Related sidenote: How *do* you add sexiness to Uncle Ben's? That poor marketing team is fighting a pretty uphill battle.)"

Let's hope they never figure it out. For if they do, the next product on the "Let's make sexy" list will be Milk of Magnesia.

*shudder*

Scene: large darkened kitchen, only a few sheets of sunlight crash through the windows, yet only partially manages to light up the room.

At the stove a woman in her mid-twenties sensuously stirs a huge pot with a big wooden spoon. The steam from the pot leaves a sheen of condensation / sweat on her features.

Close-up of woman's face as she extends her index finger, runs it across the wooden spoon, and tastes the food she's preparing. A shiver runs down her spine as she does so...

Deep-booming voice-over:
"Uncle Ben... He's got what you need."

[display logo and new slogan]

I keep hearing "Uncle Ben: You know you want it." And then I go sit in a corner and rock and cry softly.

On a semi-related note: Anyone take good look at Col. Sanders in recent KFC ads? He has a more modern haircut. It looks...a wee bit silly with the original beard.

I recall a British film of 30? 40? years ago called 'Every home should have one' in which the late, great Marty Feldmann played an advertising chap tasked with making McLauchlan's Frozen Porridge sexy - mostly as an excuse for the randy old goat McLauchlan to get his hands on a load of mini-kilted sweet young ones. The briefing he was given (which resulted in some wonderfully creative fantasy sequences) was "think dirty..."

"Getting your oats" has never felt the same since....

Oh, man, clearly you have not seen the commercial I saw wherein this couple heats up one of those bowl-o-rice thingies in the microwave and then proceeds to put on a ridiculous display of feeding each other the rice and all-but-making-out in a very ambiently-lit kitchen. She's not wearing shoes, he's got his collar button undone, etc.

It was a laugh riot the first three or four times I saw it, but after that I just thought, "Are we still SELLING rice? Or are there simply that many young married couples out there with poor diets and a real need to revitalize their marriage that the research led to this commercial?"

Uncle Ben: Rice Up Your Sex-Life

P.S. We recently had to undergo a very specific training at work regarding the protection of sensitive company information during travel.

I guarantee that if Uncle Ben's Rice or the ad agency responsible finds out about this thread, that guy is going to get some pretty stern treatment at the office.

That's why when I fly: Animal Crossing on the DS.

I keep thinking of the image of Uncle Ben with a big deep barry white kinda voice saying "Uncle Ben's... Ohhhhhhh yeaaaaaahhhhh."

...or how 'bout "He's one bad motha" SHUT YO MOUTH! "Only talkin' bout Uncle Ben"

I worked for Uncle Ben's in the late 90s when the whole sexy rice marketing started. I've got to tell you guys that the campaign must still be working. It gets so much more conversation than the old "Good Cooks Cook with Uncle Ben's", now doesn't it? :) We were amazed at how many people talked about the couple feeding each other the rice in a sensual way. I guess bad publicity really can be good publicity at times. However, I can't believe it's still the marketing tool being used ten years later.

I'm pretty sure that tractors would indeed be good incentives if I were to convince several members of my family to join Myspace or Facebook.

Perhaps "Uncle Ben's Perverted Rice"?

He's a rich executive spokesman for a product that is not currently connected to anything illegal or immoral. How many more sexy than that can you get?

Ah, as usual the US is about ... uh ... 20years+ behind the times. Growing up in Germany I remember an ad for pasta sauce (yes, pasta sauce) with a tag line along the lines of "awakens the Italian in you", which ended on the guy asking tha gal whether they should go to bed early tonight (and the gal responding "please, not in front of the children"). That was in the eighties (? late seventies?).

By now I have completely forgotten the company that made the product or the name of the product -- but I will forever be able to remember the opera music to which the whole thing was set...

I was stationed in Germany (West Germany, back then) in 1978 and I watched German TV for fun and to help learn the language. My favorite commercial then was for body wash with a woman in the shower, naked. Full back nudity and all but the pubes in front. You saw her washing her naked breasts, nipples and all, with the soapy goodness and when she turned around, the soapy goo sliding down her back and into her butt-crack (with a closeup). Her figure was like Angelina Jolie's in "Beowulf".

Needless to say, I was hooked on German TV from then forward.

Compared to Europe, American television is almost Islamic in its prudishness.

Two last things.

1. Is Uncle Ben related to Condoleezza Rice?

2. It's rice! It doesn't need to be sexy. It needs to taste good.