#1) "...Just how bad WAS the last guy?"

#2) "I'd go with a pun here, but that'd be like shooting fish in a seafood market."

#) "I think Bill has really let himself go."

1. LOLCats confuse him. Especially the ones that aren't cats....

2. He said he could move the mouse with the Force, but so far nothing's happening.

• Is it Bring Your Rhino to Work Day already?
• Not only can't he type, but I don't know how he got the pencil behind his ear.
• But I had a coupon for Rhino Temps!

This is a great game! Here are my three:

"You see what I'm saying? If you don't come into the office once in a while, this place becomes a zoo!"

"So when you said this election was going to put a Rhino into the office, this isn't what you meant?"

"What?! Are you some kind of Rhino-ist??" (alternate word = Rhino-phobe?)

That's it!

"The rhino doesn't surprise me, but how can that chair hold its weight?"

"I'd say your employees are trying to make a point."

"He types by holding the pencil between his feet and hitting the keys one at a time."

I tried to write things that could fit their faces and I think that should be considered...

I SWEAR, this whole idea sounded so much better in my head!

He's been Googling "rhinoplasty" all day and making his horrified face.

I haven't read all the entries so I'm not sure if this topic has been submitted yet, but here goes!

"Seriously, man... this outsourcing thing is getting way out of control."

or

"Seriously, man... don't you think this outsourcing is going a little too far?"

Between affirmative action and threats of sexual harassment lawsuits, the lawyers say he's best qualified for the position. Plus he types 127 words per minute.

1st try.

(psst. She asked if we have dental. Your call.)

2nd try.

She got Vista to work. Who knew?

3rd try.

She's also amazing at Bocce

Thanks for the great sketch, Dave, was great to meet all of you guys in Baltimore!
-Alex from Ravenchase Adventures

Just don't make him work overtime, or you'll have both the Department of Labor and PETA after you.

Two entries for now:

• "...after internet impulse-buy therapy, Steve has been purchase-free for 3 months now, even with credit-card in hand...But now I sense that your question was rhetorical..."
• "It started with a sports bet, things escalated...basically, we owe him a job until they start filming the next "Madagascar" movie." (aside) "...besides, he types over 90 WPM. 90!"

With a rhino, it simply has to be a charge joke. With Aurthur involved, you know there will be lots of charging. So my entry is

"I would have hired a regular accountant, but he's much better at handling all of the charges"

THIS IS AUTHOR, MY BODY DOUBLE. HE DOES THE THINGS THAT ARE TOO DANGEROUS FOR ME TO DO...LIKE WORK.

Dave: Nice try getting us to wait and think. We're obviously a competitive bunch ;) First day and 165 replies!

Now I've just realized I've added to the massive amount of posts you'll have to sift through.

It would be really funny if one of these sentences made it into Arthur's speech bubble!

1. So yeah... I lost a bet.

2. His resume says he is an Upper
Tanzanian Desk Rhino.

3. So then I says "Buddy I don't care if you are on the endangered species list, you don't get a company car!"

I hope I'm not inadvertently copying anyone, there's so many:

Arthur: He's temping for the 800LBS Gorilla usually in this room.

#1. See. I told you this would happen.

He says he needs a more "ergonomic" workstation.

He says this proposal looks like it was written by monkeys.

What? All the big companies are outsourcing now!

"search me. all i know is the company lawyers started talking about affirmative action, and now we have a rhino on the payroll..."

No, I understand your need to top Steve Jobs, but I'm still sayin' you misunderstood when he said his secretary was a hippo.

1. "Sheldon, he just started as a temp, but if he doesn't get the hang of it, he can always be Security."

2. "He's not borrowin' MY ear buds, Sheldon."

3. "For such tough skin he doesn't take criticism well."

"We're having some trouble finding Thurber cartoons online..."

1. "It's not what it looks like."

It was great meeting you at the Baltimore Comic-con! I love your sketch with Arthur in the Olympics hat. Keep up the cool work!