Okay, I couldn't find any monkeys, but I heard this theory...

Aw, come on! You said I could pick who took over my job when I went to law school!

"That's Paul. I help him to come down with his story. How sounds 'Wear your big horn up. Experiences of a different Dicerotini'?"

Here's a go:

"I hired a representive to answer my MySpace messages..."

I took away his credit card, but he's still got his Paypal.

So this is the economic bailout plan?

_____
Finally an assistant I won't get in trouble for calling a rhino.

"He used to be Trump's apprentice, but Trump didn't want to be around someone better looking than himself."

"And the sad thing is, she's one of the better looking editors"

-or-

"I know, who uses pencils anymore?"

-or-

"Someone should tell your HMO that when she said she needed rhinoplasty, she mean a nosejob."

1. "No, YOU tell her she's fired."

2. "Nope, can't fire her. I checked. She's union."

3. "This is awkward. I can't remember if we dated or not."

-D'you know the horn gets wifi? Best receptionist ever.

What?! She's Microsoft Certified.

"When I said 'We really need a new receptionist,' did you say, 'I know' or 'Rhino'?"

Now that he has a PayPal account, there isn't much we can do.

I asked them to send a HIPPA expert. Apparently a misunderstanding on several levels...

"Ever notice how cartoon caption contests always seem to establish ridiculously improbable scenarios?"

Oops, HIPAA

Don'cha hate it when people try to get you to do their job for them!

One:

So, I looked at the food chain, and I figure it's the only thing that can save us from this Bear Market.

Two:

Now we can both stop wondering why the media is asking how SheldonSoft managed to recruit Steve Wozniak.

"Edward's in charge of the charge accounts."

"Tom needs some time off for rhinoplasty."

my 3rd one:

"RHINO - Receptionist Help In Name Only!"

"You didn't need the Human Resources department, did you?"

"So I figured out how we can spend SheldonSoft's 'bailout money'..."

"Flaco wanted a little brother, so I figured, y'know... why skimp?
...by the way, if you interrupt him during his 'Youtube' time he'll try to impale you. FYI."

Still haven't told Gramps that wasn't coffee, eh?