With appropriate accent marks and highlighting of the hilarious play on words that is the combination of 'extemporaneous' and 'rhinoceros'.
"...aaaand including his signing bonus and the *ridiculous* salary we promised to lure him away from Microsoft... You're gonna need a big infusion of cash."
I also loved the one about symbiosis and the blog.
"What?? It's NEVER too early to start my list for Santa."
"I outsourced myself. Fred's first task is my list for Santa."
"Fred needs to hook into your network. Santa's gone digital."
Dude, itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s the EERIEST thing youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll EVER see. I mean, sure: those three-toed gorilla-stompers donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t LOOK like theyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re capable of 90 words per minuteÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
WOW, I really don't know why my first attempt looks like braille, but let's try that again (hopefully, Mr. Kellett won't hold that botched attempt against me...)
Dude, it's the EERIEST thing you'll EVER see. I mean, sure: those three-toed gorilla-stompers don't LOOK like they're capable of 90 words per minute...
"Uh, no, this isn't what sending work overseas means."
"Just him sitting there is breaking so many laws of physics. Let's not start on the psychological."
We met in a book club, nothing but novelizations of Catherine Zeta-Jones movies.
He's ghost writing your autobiography.
We're going hang gliding this weekend. It's a team building thing. You need to come into the office more.
Ok, I had to unlurk for this one...*blows dust off marketing skills*
1) "The reason we're not using Vista? Meet the guy from the rhino pool..."
2) "You know Betty, from Accounting? The one who bakes those cookies? She told him not too eat that many..."
3) "When we need to put out fires here at the office, we go looking for Alphonse, or "Senor Sofocar" as the maintenace guys call him."
"I hate how guys like Jim here get all the girls. He does nothing but play online games, Google useless stuff, and chew on his pencil so it seems like he's thinking. Plus, look at his manicure. Tell me those are the hands of a working man..."