1: He'll just be a second, okay? Dude's gotta check his ball scores.

2: Let's face it, Sheldon--loaning out your most powerful laptop to a ham-fisted friend isn't the WORST thing you've caught me doing.

3: And THIS dimension is populated with sentient Sumatran rhinos. ...Yeah, I dunno how they developed computers without opposable thumbs either.

"I knew we hired from overseas... but this is ridiculous."

Oso is still Lactos Intolerant!

"Hey, YOU said 'Hire a temp from Monster.com' ...What, too literal?"

"Ohhhh... you forgot the HR guy's birthday again, huh?"

"Exactly what part of his resume made you think this was a good idea?"

The Best Things in Life are Squee! (Hey, it worked before!)

(third & final entry) Just press Control-Alt-Delete at the same time!

1. When you bought that time machine, I warned you not to touch anything in the past because it would affect the future. I don't want to say I told you so...

2. The Rhino is in place, the camera is set, and gramps should be walking thru that door any second now. You Tube fame here we come.

3. Don't let the looks fool you. He's a terrific employee, but you don't want to go in the bathroom after him.

"Get my Secretary on the horn?"...I thought you said "Get a Secretary with a horn!"

1: Think this is what Gramps meant when he said "watch your company"?

2: She likes her coffee black

3: He killed the joe, but he's the ONE employee Terry Tate WON'T tackle

(reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzToNo7A-94)

im particularly proud of the third one :D

3. There were some layoffs at Ecko Unlimited.

"So, we've managed to reduce the entire complaint department to a single employee, and get this, He works for Plant Matter... PLANT MATTER!"

#3 So I says to Mabel, I says "Mabel, someone ate all the Twinkies from the snack machine." -true story, totally.

Meet our new administrative assistant...His ability to frighten away salesmen more than makes up for the fact that he doesn't answer the phone.

Last time I saw the little guy he was taking a nap on the intern's chair...Um Flaco?

And Gramps said coffee has limited side effects!

Perhaps you should clarify "no experience needed" to the temp agency.

That's it! Starting Monday, all employees get vaccinated for the rhino virus.

In retrospect, I might have taken the phrase, "Aggressive Marketing Campaign" a bit too literally.

Ok. Here goes! (cracking knuckles - anybody else pronounce it k-nuckles?)

1. He wants to be the mascot for the independent party.

2. Wanna see him do a trick?

3. Best safari travel agent in the business.

Just a note, We have to add "What species are you" to the job application forms.

Well here goes nothing

1. "I can't wait 'til bring your son to work day."

2. "See? Now we only have to pay the employees in grass."

And...I couldn't think of a third...

Note: This posting constitutes the end of the formal entry period: Midnight PST, Oct 10th. Thanks, everyone, for the 400+ posts containing 1,000-1,500 captions! It's been great fun reading them so far.

When I get back from Savannah, I'll take a day or two to pick my favorites from the list, and put them up for informal feedback. A few days after that, I'll pick our winner!

Thanks again to everyone who participated!

****END OF THE FORMAL ENTRIES****

I know this is late. I wrote it early and wanted to let it germinate - then I left town. So in all it's ineligible glory, my third entry:

"We WERE going to let him go after the 'operation affirmative action' publicity stunt, but he types 90 WPM!" (asides: "Can we keep him? He doesn't charge much!")

Taaadaa!

I know you wanted to wait until after Halloween, but I'm wondering if I missed the winning announcement somewhere else?