Team USA kicked some butt at the World Beard and Mustache championships.
"Mission Accomplished! The United States of America is now the world's leading power in international facial hair competitions, having toppled former superpower Germany at the recent World Beard and Moustache Championships held in Anchorage, Alaska."
I'll bet most of you didn't even know such a thing existed as the World Beard and Mustache Championships.
Alas, I have less facial hair at 33 than many 13 year olds, so I can never represent us at this august competition