I've been attacked by and over biscuits before. Many is the time gluttonous, furtive biscuit consumption has led to sudden choking (hobnobs actually are one of the worst offenders since they commit fracticide when you bite them unless you dunk them in something), and my sister hit me in the eye with a well-flung digestive once. A biscuit also led to my nose being pierced in four places. My spaniel really wanted my biscuit, and didn't have the best of aim or depth perception when she was a puppy...
Not sure why they mentioned Jaffa Cakes in that report though, since they're not biscuits. They're... well... cake.