More things Full Dislosure Airlines will tell you:

"Before pushback you will hear things go 'ping' in the cabin a good 10-15 times, for no discernable reason. Also, prior to landing we will show you a professionally edited video about the arrival airport... That will be of no value to you whatsoever, as it was recorded 3 years ago, prior to the airport's radical grounds-up refurbishment. (unless we show you one of the wrong airport)"

/Jan-Erik

Read Ask the Pilot [salon.com], and stop whining.

At least they're on the tarmac. They seem to sailed through the ever delightful 'security' in the airport, itself. All hail our glorious masters in the TSA!

How about this one, that they'd also add.

"When the plane actually leaves the ground there'll be about two or three seconds of 'hang' time, after which it will drop down for two or three more seconds before catching itself- leading you to unconciously assume you're about to eat tarmac."

 Scared the hell out of me the first time I flew and THAT happened.

On my map-related-comics blog I posted a funny and relevant comic that explores what happens when airline pilots travel:
http://blueskygis.blogspot.com/2009/08/routes.html

"If you should happen to have a request, please page any one of our flight attendants, who will be happy to affix you with a withering stare, and perhaps a heavy sigh. Some passengers may also experience direct insults and bullying."
(I should be fair. That only relates to about 60% of the flight attendents I've encountered in the recent past. Perhaps the airlines are cutting costs by opening positions as therapy to participants in anger management programs.)

On a related next-strip note, really, what IS up with peanut allergies all of a sudden? Does anyone have a scientific explanation for this?

"If you are taller than Tattoo or wider than Manute Bol, expect to lose circulation for a brief period of time, approximately the length of our flight. And do expect that, in the event you are in our aisle seating, that we will either deafen you by shouting 'watch your elbow!' or cripple you by failing to do so. Either way, we thank you for entertaining our Chief Flight Attendant Mildred Ratched (wave, Millie!)! Finally, expect the wait for takeoff and taxi to the gate for disembarking to involve searing heat as we fail to turn our air conditioning on--use those pointless little air jets to signal your assent."

My question is, how many years of flight does it take before airlines start having kid-friendly and unfriendly sections? Seriously, is there NO demand on either part? As a parent, I would love to sit with other kids if only for the camo factor. As a former non-parent, back then, I would have loved to sit as far as possible away from the little $#~#s as the plane would allow.

Just sayin'.

I refuse to fly commercial airlines. I charter if necessary for me to fly. I am a decorated military retiree. 32 years in the service. And yet the last time I went to fly commercial I was told, by a person who still had wet ink on their green card and a very poor command of English, to take off my shoes. Turns out they were from a nation on the terrorism watch list. What's wrong with this scenario? Retired US military with Purple Heart and all, being ordered, by a foreigner from a potential terrorist nation, to take off my shoes in an American airport? Utter nonsense! So I refused to do so, went to the airline ticket counter, cashed in my ticket and, after satisfying the police that I was not a foiled terrorist, left the airport and have not flown commercial since.

ok ~ this is the only other oldie I'll bring back...!
Just wanted to thank you, abracadabra, for your service to this country & to sympathize with your airline security hassles. Especially when I was in my early 20's (& with some amount of facial hair), I was routinely pulled aside for a more thorough search / pat-down (they'd insist they didn't do any "profiling", however...hmmm)~ though, that does make more sense than when they shake down the little kids and the 80-yr-old women...
As my mom has predicted, once somebody decides to try to hide a bomb in their underwear, that'll be the end of the commercial airline business.
:P