Napa, as you know, is sort've the beating heart of the California wine industry. And make no mistake: The wines there are magnificent. But if you read enough marketing language written on, about, and around wine...you kinda step into this alternate universe where everyone owns an Aston Martin and is trying to decide on what Christmas gifts to buy for the staff of their summer home. It's so awkward: We don't even *see* them around Christmas, why are we buying them Christmas gifts?
That sort've thing.
Good one, Dave!
Though most wine marketing speak makes me roll my eyes ("Tastes of tobacco" - really? really mister? You've EATEN tobacco before, so that now you can compare it to this wine?!?!), I do appreciate Lily Elaine Hawk's wine review comics.
http://wakawakawinereviews.wordpress.com/
The father of a friend of mine had a stock response whenever someone asked his opinion of a wine: "Impudent, yet monastic!"
First: "sort've"? That expands to "sort have". It's the opposite of the "would of" error.
*ahem* I'm sorry, I was homeschooled by an English major, it's in my blood, blah blah grammar nazi blah.
Second: Kudos on nailing both pretentious wine culture *and* pretentious magazine culture. (I majored in magazine journalism, and so far this kind of joke is the only time said degree comes in handy.)
I always enjoyed Dave Barry's take on wine culture. He was actually invited to a wine tasting and couldn't figure out why he was the only one finishing his glasses of wine. A new wine would come out, the persons to the left and right would offer their hoity-toity opinions (along the lines of impudent but monastic like the other poster said), and he would reply with, "Bat's p*ss." Wish I could have been there.
Heh, I loved this one, although it took me a bit for the joke on the wine label ro register. I have tried, but I cannot tell the cheap stuff from the expensive stuff, which works just fine for me, I just buy the cheap stuff.
Back in the mid 90's I toured Napa (largely for Tourists) and Sonoma (where they kept it real) and thoroughly enjoyed my visit there.
Went back through Sonoma a couple years ago. Geez. I don't know if it's all due to Sideways, but charming rustic wineries had gone completely Frass Canyon, along with a full compliment of Pinot Noir sipping Wine Corner-Sewers. Awful.
Good we have some little old wineries in the mountains around here, without all the pretension.
Enjoyed the strip, as I'm one who always has enjoyed mockups of magazine covers.
When it comes to wine, I am a Philistine. I'd rather have watermelon wine or sangria than Opus One. The only way I like champagne is mixed 50/50 with range juice as a punch or cocktail. I drink either straight Maker's Mark bourbon or Bacardi's Dark and coke.
