An Immediate About-Face

There has never been a higher and more noble calling than knitting. If human history were to be viewed as a slowly rising plateau, always stretching onward and upward, then knitting would sit high upon its apex as the grandest achievement of which humanity can lay claim. If 2000 random people were sampled, you would consistently find that the knitters among them would be the sexiest, the most intelligent, and the noblest of purpose.

Knitting: the single greatest thing ever.

...now please stop threatening me with sharp knitting objects. It was just an example about magazines! :)