An Open Letter to the Old Dude at my Gym in the Dolphin Shorts

Tuesday, March 13, 2007 - 09:00 PM

Dear Sir:

Though I am amazed and inspired by your presence at the gym, I wanted to take a minute to offer some constructive fashion criticism.

Let me first stress how impressed I am at your ability to get yourself to the gym. Especially in this, your 125th year. You are an inspiration to folks young and old.

But brother, the dolphin shorts have got to go.

Even during their heyday in 1979-1982, I'm fairly sure Dolphin Shorts were pretty roundly made fun of. They are, after all, only three-inch swaths of fabric.

But here you are, in 2007, rockin' them Dolphin Shorts like the Bee Gees just dropped "Saturday Night Fever". And on an EFX machine, no less. Wow.

So, in closing:
- Points for getting yourself to the gym
- Negative points for the Dolphin Shorts

In Friendship,
Dave Kellett

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