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An Unwed Librarian! Oh, the Horror!

Sheldonista Marisa V. wrote in with a hilarious addendum to the “It’s a Wonderful Life” toons from last week. I had to share this with you guys:

I am a long time reader and have been enjoying your “Questionable Moments from ‘It’s a Wonderful Life'” series, as this beloved Christmas movie has some problems.

But this segment seems now to be over, and I am wondering how it is you missed the most hilarious moment in that movie, where we discover what happened to Mary?

Towards the end of George’s lesson, when he’s realizing how truly awful everything would be if he’d never been born, he has a horrible thought. Mary! What’s happened to Mary?! He demands to know from Clarence, who doesn’t want to tell him. “You’re-you’re not going to like it George!”

And the suspense is killing us. What could have happened? I mean, we’ve already seen the entire town go to hell. His brother is dead, so are all the people his brother saved in WWII. The pharmacist he worked for is a criminal and a drunk, and Clarence doesn’t want to say what happened to Mary? Why? Is she dead? A destitute alcoholic? Married to a horrible abusive man?

But no! It is a fate much worse than all of those put together! Because George was never born, Mary never married! She-she became a librarian! The horror!!!

*screams and faints*

And that, that is the most questionable moment from “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

Marisa, you are awesome. That’s very funny.