Ah, Big Wheel...how many trees did I crash into on you? How many hills did I tempt death with on you? And how quickly did your front wheel go out of alignment from your handlebars, making you completey impossible to steer? Ah, Big Wheel...you and I had some good times.

But even better than the Big Wheel was the less-commonly-seen "Green Machine"...the ultimate in childhood awesomeness:

The Green Machine still exists on the market, I see...but they've added some extra safety features from the model that I owned as I kid. Which is good...because let me tell you: that baby was not particularly safe in the hands of a 10-year old boy. I bit it at least 10 times over a half-hour period, riding on my Green Machine. That thing was a recipe for skinned knees and klonked skulls.

But you know what? That thing rode like no other vehicle I've operated, before or since. It was awesome: sitting 3 inches off the ground, flying down hills, steering by two vertical handles like some sort of jet pilot, crashing every few minutes, getting up and doing the whole thing again...C'mon! What ten-year old wouldn't want to ride that! I'd want to ride one now, if I could fit my Krispy Kreme-addled rump on there.

Which is why this guy is so awesome. I wish this guy lived on my street. I'd love to crash on the Green Machine one more time.