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That’s a Lot of Lumber

Relevant to nothing at all, I wanted to share a completely-random-yet-incredibly-useful non sequitor that my wife came up with. It’s one of those out-of-nowhere statements that come in very handy when you need some conversational filler.

I share it with you in the hope that you’ll be able to use it in as many odd situations as I have.

And here it is: “That’s a lot of lumber.”

Not particularly funny, you say? I say try it out, and experience the secret joy that is “That’s a lot of lumber.” For example:

Co-Worker: “The boss says we’re gonna need to come in on Saturday.”

You: “Phwew! That’s a lot of lumber.”

Co-Worker, 30 seconds later: “…um, what?”

It’s utterly nonsensical, but sounds like it’s apropos to something, so folks don’t quite know how to process it. I’ve been using it a lot lately…but got the best response while waiting in a line today. The woman in front of me was making kind but overly enthusiastic small talk, and at a key moment I chimed in “Wow, that’s a lot of lumber.”

My super-favoritest part? She said “Sure is!”

If you do use it, and get a funny response, make sure to e-mail me.


On a separate note: a hearty and happy birthday to my compadre-in-arms, Kristofer Bartholomew Straub.