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PANEL 1: OSO, the fawn pug, in full Batman cape and cowl, stands in a darkly lit backyard, fence in background. The sky fades from purple to grey. Somehow there is an edge-light on Oso, for drama.
NARRATION: I am Batpug! Sole defender of…

PANEL 2: All of a sudden the same scene is in day light, the magic broken as DIGBY, a brown daschund, enters the scene. His eyebrow is arched, as if wondering what OSO, still dressed as Batpug, is up to.
NARRATION: Oh. Um.

PANEL 3: OSO looks embarrassed as DIGBY continues to stand staring at him. No text.

PANEL 4: The background is purple again with a burst of bright pink. OSO, in Batman cowl, leaps with mouth open and eyes wide, as in front of him joins DIGBY, now dressed up with a black mask over his eyes, yellow collared cape, and a circled S hanging from his collar (emulated Robin). DIGBY’s mouth is wide open with tongue out, spit flying.
NARRATION: BEHOLD! BATPUG & SLOBBIN! Crime doesn’t sleep: so THEY handle that!

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PANEL 1: OSO the fawn pug sits on an outdoor building ledge dressed in a black cloak and cowl, very much looking like batman. His eyes are low and serious. There is a city skyline in silhouette behind him.
NARRATION: BATPUG: I am the night

PANEL 2: OSO, still in costume, leaps across the panel.
NARRATION: I am the avenging angel that strikes in the shadows. The dark knight that moves in silence.

PANEL 3: OSO sits atop a round pole, city in the background, glowing moon in the sky.
NARRATION: My very breath is a whisper.

PANEL 4: Close up on OSO in costume, a pink glow behind him.
NARRATION: MY VERY BREATH A WHISPER
Sound effect: phneehgh phneehgh phneehgh phneehgh phneehgh phneehgh phneehgh phneehgh phneehgh

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PANEL 1: OSO, a fawn pug, stands facing away from a window, but noticing something outside. One of his ears perks up, attention lines above his head. The room is neutral but bright.
NARRATION:
THere’s something out your window
Be Quick! You’ve got to bark!
This Robber must be stopped right now:
Your choice to act is stark!

PANEL 2: OSO is surrounded by an orange and neon-green haze, with lightning bolts, storm clouds, starts and swirly doodles indicating explosive anger. His eyes bulge out of his head, his mouth open in bark.
NARRATION:
And so you bark and woof and yip!
And bang upon the glass!
There is no crime that you can’t stop,
If you bark loud and fast!

PANEL 3: We return to the neutral room, OSO lays on the floor, facing away from the window, his head between his paws. His mouth is slightly open with a small “Boof.” Above his head.
NARRATION:
But now you see…THERE’S NOTHING??
…no robber hears your woof.
And so you lose all urgency —
Your bark becomes a “boof”.

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PANEL 1: A brown dashchund stands on a cliff edge, mountains in the background. The sun is lower in the sky on the left had side, the sky is a hazy purple. Above his head is an empty voice bubble.

PANEL 2: Same pose, the sun has moved to center-left, the sky is a light blue. He still has an empty voice bubble above his head.

PANEL 3: Same pose, the sun has moved to center-right, the sky is a slightly darker blue. The voice bubble is still empty.

PANEL 4: Same pose, the sun has moved to lower left, the sky is a purple with a pink glow at the horizon. The shadows have deepened, yet the voice bubble is still empty.

PANEL 5: The dashshund runs down a hill, the background is the bright purple of a sunset. The voice bubble above his head now reads: “Mishin accomplished.”

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PANEL 1: OSO, a fawn pug, runs alongside DIGBY, a brown dachshund. The sky is blue and the grass is green.
DIGBY: Today my person gave me a bone. So I buried it under my pillow.

PANEL 2: DIGBY continues to run along the grass.
DIGBY: But then!?! Just a few minutes later!?! I FOUND a bone buried under my pillow!

PANEL 3: OSO stops to think, DIGBY is surrounded by a glowing light.
OSO: …The trick to happiness is no short-tern memory.
DIGBY: DOUBLE BONES!!

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PANEL 1: DIGBY, a brown dachshund, runs alongside OSO, a fawn pug. The sky is blue and a brown fence and green grass are behind them.
DIGBY: Humans call me “Little Weiner Dog,” but I not little.

PANEL 2: DIGBY stops to look at a blue bird standing in the grass.
DIGBY: To all sorts of folks, I a FEARSOME GIANT! Look it this tiny bird! He thinks I a massive warrior!

PANEL 3: DIGBY towers over a small bug.
DIGBY: Look it this bug down here! He think I a battle tank!

PANEL 4: OSO the pug looks happily while DIGBY freaks out next to him.
OSO: Maybe it’s just fun to say “Little Weiner Dog”
DIGBY: I A GROUND-LEVEL GLADIATOR!

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PANEL 1: A dark brown long-haired dachshund with a stick in his mouth comes bounding towards a fawn pug. They stand on a sidewalk with grass, a fence, green trees and a blue sky. 
DACHSHUND: Look! I found a stigg under some stones.
PUG: A stigg!

PANEL 2: Close up o the interaction, both dogs look happy. The stick is still in the dashchund’s mouth.
DACHSHUND: I pulled and pulled and pulled the stigg from tha stone!
PUG: You pulled the stigg from tha stone? That makes you king!!

PANEL 3: Close up on the dachshund, on a slightly blue-grey background, stick still in mouth.
DACHSHUND: The king? No no no. I not big and strong. I too short to be king.

PANEL 4: The pug and dachshund bound along a strip of grass, blue sky above them. The stick remains in his mouth.
PUG:  You a SHORT KING.
DACHSHUND: Ha ha ha yes! We love a short king!

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PANEL 1: An older man with white hair and a dark sweater stands with his hands behind his back.
MAN: Hello, I’m James Dyson, of Dyson vacuums. And I’m here to talk to you about our MOST POWERFUL VACUUM YET.

PANEL 2: Close up on JAMES, as he holds a finger up.
JAMES: Our new design not only vacuums up only vacuums up crumbs from your floor, it SEEKS THEM OUT. And as it vacuums up those crumbs… it coats your wooden floor with an industry first protective layer of saliva.

PANEL 3: JAMES holds up a derpy looking pug.
TEXT ON BACKGROUND: Small Dog, from Dyson.
JAMES: …and the ONLY emission is barely a noticeable gas release! …Six to 468 times a day.

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PANEL 1: GRAMP, a bald man with a grey mustache, sits in a navy blue easy chair. A small pug stands a few feet away, look at him. NARRATION: if I far, I want near PANEL 2: Closer up on GRAMP, reacting to pug reaching over the arm of the chair. NARRATION: if I near, I want next to PANEL 3: GRAMP looks more relaxed as the pug settles on his lap. NARRATION: if I next to, I want shirt PANEL 4: GRAMP looks astounded as the pug pops out from under his shirt neck. The background dis brighter, more intense. NARRATION: I SAY I WANT SHIRT. —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller