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PANEL 1: GRAMP, an older bald man with a grey mustache, runs past an open window while a stack of papers on an end table starts to fly away in the wind.
NARRATION: Hav eyou ever had a stack of paper get completely hoisted by the wind?

PANEL 2: GRAMP grabs after flying pieces of paper, his shirt lifting up to show his belly.
NARRATION: It’s ridiculous. The papers are bouncing around like mad, in a weird pattern of physics that makes no sense.

PANLE 3: Three small dogs bounce around a room: OSO, a fawn pug, lays on his belly with all 4 legs stretched out. DIGBY, a brown daschund flies above OSO, twisting in the air. BISCUITS, a black mutt with wavy ears and a fluffy tail, leaps off the wall. All three have wide eyes and mouth open.
NARRATION: Well congrats! Now you know what it’s like to own a small dog!

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PANEL 1: OSO, the fawn pug, stands next to DIGBY, a brown dachshund. They stand at the edge of a lake. The sun is setting, making the sky fade from blue to orange to pink. The water reflects the sky. The hills in the distance are silhouetted. In the mid-ground sits a man on a rock, fishing, also in silhouette.
OSO: “Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.” - Thoreau.

PANEL 2: DIGBY looks over his shoulder at OSO. No text

PANEL 3: The scene remains the same, DIGBY looks back at the man fishing.

PANEL 4: The same scene, but DIGBY speaks.
DIGBY: I’d still like a fish.

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PANEL 1: OSO, a fawn pug, stands with his front paws on a window, barking. Outside is a tree, but we don’t see what he’s barking at.
NARRATION: If you have ONE dog, they will bark at stimuli…but eventually will settle down.

PANEL 2: OSO stands next to DIGBY, a brown dachshund. Both of them have their mouths open, eyes wide, barking.
NARRATION: But if you have TWO dogs, thebark of the first one becomes the stimuli for the second one. And thus, you get an INFINITE BARKING LOOP.

PANEL 3: GRAMP, an older bald man with a grey mustache, stands with his arms outs. Four different fans are scattered around him, clearly on.
NARRATION: PRO TIP: Hook those two up to a generator, and slash your home energy bills!
GRAMP: They’re powering NINE fans!

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PANEL 1: DANTE, a ten year old boy wearing a blue baseball cap, leans up against a tree trunk. DIGBY, the brown dachshund snuggled into his arm pit.
NARRATION:
Dogs will snuggle any place
Their legs and bodies fit
They’ll sleep contented with their nose
wedged right into someone’s pit

PANEL 2: GRAMP, an older bald man with a grey mustache, sits on a sofa with OSO the fawn pug. OSO is snuggled in between GRAMP’s legs, GRAMP reacting surprised.
NARRATION:
They’ll snuggle p all smooshed
between your couch and flanking loins!
They’ll even nod off right to sleep
all wedged in people’s groins!

PANEL 3: A large, fluffy Chow Chow dog sits in a holden ray of sunshine from a window. He looks at the camera with eyes wide.
NARRATION:
Because the other option here
for any dog that naps
is JUST their coat! That that’s no good!
It’s lacking any laps!
Chow chow: I so freezing!!

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PANEL 1: DIGBY, a brown dachshund, stands at a front door as a couple letters of mail get dropped through the maildrop. His mouth is open in a bark.
NARRATION: 
A Dachshund weighs about ten pounds
…or fifteen? Maybe twenty?
But what it lacks in girth and weight
its bark will cover - PLENTY

PANEL 2: DIGBY stands, barking.
NARRATION: It is a joyous, loving dog
with cuddles there to spare
and yet, its bark is just pure rage:
it permeates the air.

PANEL 3: DIGBY stands at a window, one paw on the glass. Out side a birth flies down from a tree.
NARRATION: Perhaps it’s angry at its length?
Or its wee little legs?
Perhaps it feels that life has
knocked him down a couple pegs?

PANEL 4: DIGBY stands barking next to ARTHUR, a yellow duck, whose eyes bulge and his mouth is in a big cringe.
NARRATION: 
It greets the world with barks and barks
at welcomes and at partings!
And pairs the noise of endless barks
with equal endless fartings.

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PANEL 1: DIGBY, a brown dachshund stands in a doorway, eyes wide and terrified. OSO, a fawn pug, looks at him.
DIGBY: I having life crisis!

PANEL 2: OSO continues talking while OSO listens.
DIGBY: I find out dachshunds were bred to hunt badgers. BUT I NEVER SEE A BADGER!

PANEL 3: DIGBY leaps, eyes wide.
DIGBY: I A BADGER HUNTER WITH NO BADGERS TO HUNT!

PANEL 4: DIGBY, bags under his eyes, pupils dilated, continues while OSO looks on wide eyed.
DIGBY: …so I bork-bork-bork at the Amazon guy.
OSO: Smart.

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PANEL 1: GRAMP, an older bald man with a grey mustache, walks across the street holding the leash with OSO, a fawn pug, running at the other end. In the background is a house with a green lawn and a sidewalk. In front of them is a patch of grass next to another sidewalk, and a tree.
GRAMP: Ugggh. Every morning that we walk by this house, you can hear someone taking a shower.

PANEL 2: GRAMP walks OSO, grimacing, as he passes by a small open window on a dark grey house.
GRAMP: The house is RIGHT NEXT to the sidewalk…and the window is open…and it’s all just way TOO CLOSE!

PANEL 3: Closer up on GRAMP, the open window behind him.
GRAMP: I DON’T LIKE IT. It feels like I”m witnessing a profoundly private act that I shouldn’t!

PANEL 4: GRAMP has stopped while OSO lifts his leg against a tree, pulling GRAMP’s arm across him. GRAMP furrows his eyebrows in realization as to what’s happening.
GRAMP: Well, IN FOR A PENNY…

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PANEL 1: GANDALF the Grey Wizard from Lord of the Rings, stands in his cloak and hat, holding his staff. He looks kindly down at SAMWISE GAMGEE, holding BILL THE PONY’s head. SAM’s eyes well up with tears.
GANDALF: I’m sorry, Sam. We can’t take your Pony, Bill into the Mines of Moria. We’ll have to leave him here.
SAM: *snif* OK. *snif*

PANEL 2: Close up on GANDALF, as he refers to something lower down.
GANDALF: And also, your dachshund.

PANEL 3: GANDALF’s brow furrows while SAM holds up a black and tan dachshund, barking his head off.
SAM: WHY? FOR WHAT REASON??
Sound effect covering the background: BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK

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PANEL 1: LASSIE, the rough collie dog, stands on green grass with a green bush behind her. She holds a smart phone in her paw, reading an email on it.
TEXT, from her phone: “Dear Lassie, I hope this email finds you well.”

PANEL 2: The panel zooms out to reveal she’s standing next to a classic looking wishing well, stone circle with a wood roof on top. LASSIE turns her head, lines emanating from her mouth as if she’s shouting.
LASSIE (in thought bubble): H…How did they KNOW?

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PANEL 1: In a grey, gloomy room, DUMBLEDORE, a wizard with a grey beard and heavy eyebrows, uses his wand to pull a bright blue memory out of his head, like the scene in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. HARRY POTTER, a kid with a lightnight scar and round glasses, stands next to the Pensieve, looking at it concerned. The cool light from the Pensieve reflects on them both.
DUMBLEDORE: Harry! In the battle against darkness, I have a key memory I must show you.

PANEL 2: HARRY, still in the gloomy colors, peers in to a bubbly, swirly panel, the warm light of the scene reflects on his face. The grey color bleeds away to show bright, warm colors of the scene. In the scene is bright green grass, DUMBLEDORE in the background, eyes dilated, holding his hands up to his mouth that is clearly saying “ooh!”, with three hearts about his head. What he is looking at: A larger brown dog with floppy ears stands wide with his mouth open, while a small yellow dog stands on his back, one front leg and one back leg out, mouth open. It looks like they’re posing for something. No text.

PANEL 3: HARRY pulls his head out of the Pensieve, back in the grey, gloomy room. DUMBLEDORE stands next to him, jazz-hands wide, eyes wide open, happy expression of his face. The warm glow of the memory shows on his face.
HARRY: Professor, why was it important that I see—
DUMBLEDORE: THEY WERE JUST STANDING THERE! UNPROMPTED!

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