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Collection: Anatomy of Monsters

TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters; Anatomy of a Leprechaun DESCRIPTION: A pale, freckled man with a red beard (no mustache), wearing a green top hat, a green jacket, green pants and black shoe with a gold buckle, leaps in to the air with his arms straight down. A pipe sticks out of his wide-open mouth. Below him sits a black pot full of gold coins. JOKES: - Saints preserve us! ’Tis Irelands fabled boyo, the Leprepchaun! - (pointing to previous joke) Their name comes from the old Irish word “Luchorpán,” which 100% sounds like an industrial flooring company. - “O Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling.” (He has a crippling nicotine addiction, you guys) - He hides pots of gold where a rainbow touches the earth. So literally anywhere with a broken sprinkler head is a potential Swiss bank account. - Ladies, falls, I ask you: Has this beard ever looked good on ANYONE? In all of history? - Hates it when you tell him his cooking “Magically Delicious” - Green jacket stolen from the Masters 1952 winner. - MAY THE ROAD RISE TO MEET YOU! Which sounds like a blessing until you realize he’s actively throwing bits of asphalt at you. —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters: Anatomy of a Zankallala DESCRIPTION: A small grey-skinned man with dreadlocks covering his eyes, sits on top of a mouse-like jerboa. The Jerboa has large ears, large back legs it stands on, small font legs, and a long tail with a tuft at the end. Zankallala has a mound of bees on his head, and holds a green snake like a walking stick. He has a dark scorpion on his ankle. JOKES: - He’s from Hausa folklore in West Africa. Described as “two fists hight”, he’s an immensely powerful trickster with supernatural powers! - (pointing to the previous joke) Just like Danny Devito! - He is accompanied by birds that sing his praises and attack his enemies. Which, hold on — CAN I HAVE SOME OF THOSE BIRDS?? - Rides around on a Jerboa! Which is like commuting on a highly caffeinated pogo stick. - He hears a hat of bees. Which, even for the Met Gala, is a swing. - (pointing to the previous joke) When you’re wearing bees, every haircut is a buzz cut. - He also has a snake for a walking stick, and scorpions for spurs. WHERE IS THIS DUDE SHOPPING? - It’s weird when you have to say to the waiter, “I’ll have the salad, but my cane will have three mice.” - Sometimes people give subtle signs that say “Don’t mess with me.” For him, maybe it’s the bees, the snake and the scorpions? —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters: Anatomy of the Loch Ness Monster DESCRIPTION: a dinosaur-like creature with a long neck, flippers and a long tail, floats in a pool of water. Her eyes are wide and mouth open in a smile. JOKES: - She’s a 66 million year old dinosaur living in a 10,000 year old lake. That math ain’t mathin’. - HOW has she lived so long? A.) She’s always hydrated B.) She never needs to moisturize - Biologically incapable of ever being in focus. - Flippers designed to splash the exact second tourists look away. - Deep down, just wants someone to ask “How is Nessie,” instead of always “where is Nessie.” - People forget she’s Scottish until she yells “ACH YAE WEE NUMPTY” at passing tourists. - Eyes positioned on the sides of her head to maximize her side-eye potential. - She always waits until the research team packs up their gear before doing a majestic backflip. - Scotland gave us Johnnie Walker, Macallan, Gelnfiddich ….and Nessie. COINCIDENCE? —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters: Anatomy of a Fairy DESCRIPTION: A spritely lady with long purple hair, purple wings, a green leaf-dress and purple shoes, holds a wood wand thats throwing teal and purple sparkles. She wears acorns as earrings and daisies in her hair. JOKES: - Hollow bones make them light enough to fly, but also fragile enough to be defeated by a moderately heavy scarf. - The moral compass of a bored house cat + the cosmic power of a neutron star. - Their diet consists of dew-drops, nectar, ambrosia and top-shelf tequila. - Every pose is Instagrammable - Fairies can’t physically lie! …so they’ll stage elaborate, five-act plays just to avoid commenting on your outfit. - The fairy dust is just crystalized sweat. - Fairy Zillow is just endless photos of wide mushrooms. - Let’s just say it: she’s wearing a SALAD. —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters: Anatomy of a Kraken DESCRIPTION: a large humanoid-creature with tentacles at the mouth, a lobster claws for one hand and a clawed-hand for the other, a squid-like head shape with large white eyes emerges from water, splashing water up, tossing a fishing boat. He is red speckled with a lighter belly. JOKES: - Voted “Most Likely to disrupt global shipping” three years running. - Ironically: Allergic to shellfish - He’s a sucker for drama. (And has suckers for drama!) - His bladder is the reason it’s a saltwater ocean. - Tries to time the chorus of “Mrs. Sandman, Bring me a dream” to navy sonar pings. - Has the ultimate dad joke: “It looks ABYSMAL outside” - Tried exfoliating with coral… his butt is still covered in barnacles. - The type who SAYS he’s “five minutes away” when he hasn’t even left the Mariana Trench. —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters: Anatomy of a Unicorn DESCRIPTION: A purple dappled horse with flowing purple-to-blue main and tail looks out with a slightly empty-brain look. She has a purple-to-green spiral horn sticking out of her forehead. Her legs fade to a darker purple and end in purple feathering. She walks on a sparkling green grass, and is surrounded by pink sparkles. JOKES: - Imagine going through life, asking at every meal, “COULD IKEBAB THIS?” - Teeth are perfectly straight. (Because magic is the ultimate orthodontist.) - Her muscles are purely decorative…and disintegrate upon any actual labor. - 90% of her waking hours are spent prancing. - (pointing to her horn) Enclosed bounce houses are a nightmare. - Her mane has more volume than all the hair-metal bands of 1989. - That ain’t sparkly magic. That’s crippling dandruff. - Has a highly curated playlist for walking slowly through backlit mist. - Thinks horses are “total uggos” —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters; Anatomy of a Dragon DESCRIPTION: A green, scaly, four-legged creature with giant bat-like wings sits on a glistening gold dirt. His head is covered in dark spines, heavy eyebrows cover his eyes. He has a heavy chin and smoke protrudes from one of his nostrils. JOKES: - Remember, Kids! - A dragon has 4 legs/2 wings. - A wyvern has 2 legs/2 wings. - a Wyrm has 0 legs/0 wings. - And a WORM is the same as a wyrm, but without the hardcore name. - Smoke constantly drifts from his nostrils like a teenager try8ing to hide a vape pen. - Every dragon is born with one armor scale missing, for the benefit of talented archers. (It’s nature’s balance.) - Practices the “Five-second Rule” for dropped sheep. - The eyebrows of a grumpy landlord (…who also happens to be a nuclear weapon.) - Is convinced that shiny armor is just “Stay-fresh” Packaging. - Believes “revenge i a dish best served at 3,000 degrees.” - Spends his weekends swiping right on pictures of unprotected royal treasuries. —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters: Anatomy of Cerberus DESCRIPTION: a dark grey pitbull-like dog with 3 heads stands on a rock ground, red light glowing from below. One head’s ears fly back as he barks, the middle head looks alert with his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth, the third head looks friendly, tongue hanging out, slobber dripping down. The dog’s tail is scaly and slightly green. Their three collars are blue, red, and green. JOKES: - When you’ve got main character energy, but… so do the two dudes next to you. - The middle head is the only one who actually knows how to guard the gates of Hell; the other are just here for the snacks. - Need to distract Cerberus? Just hold a leash and whiser “outttttside” - Picture it: Three tongues battlign for the last remnant of peanut butter at the bottom of the jar. - Six ears means they can hear food wrappers from down the block. - The three-part harmonies are GORGEOUS. - They use the old shtick of “Good cop, Bad cop, Bonus Good cop.” - Greeks went the extra mile: Three-headed dog wasn’t enough — SO HOW ABOUT A SERPENT’S TAIL?? - Imagine how long it takes these three to decide pizza toppings. —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters: Anatomy of a Sasquatch DESCRIPTION: An ape-like man stands in the classic Big-Foot stance, mid-walk. His arms and legs and shoulders are covered in fur, his hands, feet, biceps and chest are flesh. Behind him is a forest of trees. JOKES: - He’s the ultimate American cryptid! - (pointing to the previous joke) …with the posture of a middle-aged dad trying to find his glasses. - He’s super strong! He can bench 150! (An F-150) - Fur has the texture of shag carpeting that’s been left in a damp basement since 1974. - Knuckles for DAYYYYYS. - His build is the perfect blend of “powerlifter” and “dude powering through a few sleeves of oreos.” - Don’t think of it as “Hairy Shoulders,” think of it as “Natural Rain Poncho” - He was made. famous by a 1967 filmstrip of what is clearly a dude-in-a-Gorilla-Suit. - (pointing to previous joke) (Someone ran the film through modern film stabilization software. It is HILARIOUS how much its a dude in a suit.) - His calf muscles look like four angry raccoons fighting over a corndog. Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters: Anatomy of the Loveland Frogman DESCRIPTION: A frog. He’s a green tree frog, standing on his back legs like a human. His arms hang from under his large bulbous head, his eyes bulge out from the sides. He wears a grey and red “OHIO” baseball hat, and holds a janky magic wand in his hand, it glows purple. JOKES: - He’s a 3’-tall frog guy seen around Loveland, Ohio for the last 70 years! - I love that the best thing Ohio’s communal creativity could come up with was, “What if a Frog… was a dude?” - And apparently he also holds a sparkly magic wand??? WHO WAS IN THE PITCH MEETING FOR THIS CRYPTID?? - His bulging eyes can see 360-degrees! (But according to his ex: he still can’t see love standing right in front of him.) - When he invites you back to his place…but his place is a drainage pip under Interstate 75. - A mouth that looks like he rules the Gungans. - Handshakes so clammy, they require a lifeguard on duty. - No visible neck, because why waste time turning your head when you can just rotate your entire existence? - When he walks across tiled floors, it sounds like slapping a wet ham. —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
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