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Collection: Anatomy of Monsters

TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters: Anatomy of the Invisible Man DESCRIPTION: Floating in air but arranged as if there was a body holding them all together, we see over-ear headphones and eyeglasses, a grey “Colorado University Buffalos” t-shirt, olive-green cargo pants, a coffee cup, a watch, and flip-flop sandals. JOKES: - He has no tells in poker. - He could’ve been A CHAMPION at hide-and-seek. CURSE YOU, ASTHMA! - Zero percent body fat (as far as you know.) - When your entire existence is a 404 error message. - When he wears a scarf, it looks like a VERY SOPHISTICATED noose. - His blood type is “o”. - (pointing to previous joke) As in, “Oh Nelly, I don’t see no blood here.” - (pointing to previous joke) These are the jokes, gang. - The tanning bed does nothing. - His Instagram is just 500 photos of empty chairs. —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters: Anatomy of the Van Meter Visitor DESCRIPTION: A humanoid-pterodactyl leaps in the air. His human-muscled torso and arms hold up translucent wings. His legs and arms end in clawed three-finger and toed hands and feet. His pterodactyl face with beak has a glowing crest. It shoots out rays of light and glows red like an ember. JOKES: - He’s an eight-foot tall Dino-man seen in 1903 by all the reputable town elders in Van Meter, Iowa. - (points to previous joke) Tell me your town had “carbon monoxide hallucinations” without telling me. - Van Meter has a population of 1,000 people. So saying “All the reputable town elders” is basically saying JIM. …Jim saw it. - (next to his glowing crest) pew pew pew - Look at this dingus’ wing-to-weight ratio! Bet this dude flies with the grace of a cardboard box being kicked across a parking lot. - And he had a light-up forehead! Which honestly just feels like the studio went overboard on notes. - Wait wait wait. So Edison rolls out the lightbulb, then a few years later they spot a monster with a light on it’s head? HOW CONVENIENT. - This is like spotting a cryptid in 1999 and saying “It had horns! Tusks! And…AOL!” - He also smelled like sulfur! Which, to be fair, was every third person in 1903. —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters: Anatomy of the Beast of Busco DESCRIPTION: He’s a really, really big snapping turtle. His body is yellow-orange with spines all over. He has a beak and claws. His shell is green and spiney. He sits spanning a two-lane road, a bent stop sign under his armpit. JOKES: - He’s a legendary, MASSIVE snapping turtle seen in Indiana over a 130-year period! - (Which in Indiana years is like four basketball dynasties.) - A neck that says “Bring Captain Solo and the Wookiee to me.” - LIFE ISN’T GOING GREAT when your legs look like overstuffed burritos. - He’s not snapping, YOU’RE snapping! Everyone back off! He’s had a DAY! - Claws have the energy of a guy using a hunting knife to butter English muffins. - “A delightful dish with good mouth-feel.” - (pointing to previous joke) Him, as he eats your car. —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters: Anatomy of a Gargoyle DESCRIPTION: A stone monster is crouched on a stone plinth. He has wings and humanoid arms and legs. A pig nose, his mouth is open showing 4 teeth. He has heavy eyebrows, one being cocked over a round eye. He has small ears on top of his head. Warm light lights him from below, while some moss grows on his face and arms. JOKES: - Gang, he’s had to sit there and listen to soooo many Batman monologues. - Sadly, he would’ve been the perfect guy to date medusa. - He’s a QUIET TALKER, which is rough when you’re 100’ up. - Great with pickles jars. - 400 years in, he regrets his posture choice. - Mom won’t stop comparing him to his cousins at Notre Dame. - You think YOU’VE got hardened arteries?? - Exfoliates with a belt sander. - “Gargoyles” implies the existence of “Garguys”. —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of a Monster: Anatomy of a Poltergeist DESCRIPTION: A Victorian-looking man (Albert Einstein-like hair with a large handle bar mustache), emerges out of mist with his arms up, chains from his wrists. he wears a 3-piece suit and a bow tie, with a pocket watch. His legs turn in to a ghost-y mist. His coloring is mono-chromatic blue-green, with his line art a dark blue to make him seem incorporeal. JOKES: - Has the emotional maturity of a toddler who was denied a second “Paw Patrol.” - The basic idea for a poltergeist is: “What is a creaming jellyfish could drink ALL the Red Bull?” - [check] Pops out of nowhere, [check] can’t get rid of it, [check] drives you nuts. (points at all three) Poltergeists (points at all three) pop-up ads - Poltergeists have the ability to look pleasant or HORRIFYINGLY STOMACH-CHURNING …just like toppings at Subway! - They say poltergeists are souls with UNFINISHED BUSINESS. …that’s like getting audited for eternity. - (points to previous joke) …They’re not tearing up your house, they’re just looking for a receipt.) - Every room they enter is ice cold. Like my accountant! - Listen: If the only thing you can influence is throwing a chair, you’re gonna throw a chair. - 90% of his rage is having to watch you scratch where it itches. —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters; Anatomy of a Leprechaun DESCRIPTION: A pale, freckled man with a red beard (no mustache), wearing a green top hat, a green jacket, green pants and black shoe with a gold buckle, leaps in to the air with his arms straight down. A pipe sticks out of his wide-open mouth. Below him sits a black pot full of gold coins. JOKES: - Saints preserve us! ’Tis Irelands fabled boyo, the Leprepchaun! - (pointing to previous joke) Their name comes from the old Irish word “Luchorpán,” which 100% sounds like an industrial flooring company. - “O Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling.” (He has a crippling nicotine addiction, you guys) - He hides pots of gold where a rainbow touches the earth. So literally anywhere with a broken sprinkler head is a potential Swiss bank account. - Ladies, falls, I ask you: Has this beard ever looked good on ANYONE? In all of history? - Hates it when you tell him his cooking “Magically Delicious” - Green jacket stolen from the Masters 1952 winner. - MAY THE ROAD RISE TO MEET YOU! Which sounds like a blessing until you realize he’s actively throwing bits of asphalt at you. —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters: Anatomy of a Zankallala DESCRIPTION: A small grey-skinned man with dreadlocks covering his eyes, sits on top of a mouse-like jerboa. The Jerboa has large ears, large back legs it stands on, small font legs, and a long tail with a tuft at the end. Zankallala has a mound of bees on his head, and holds a green snake like a walking stick. He has a dark scorpion on his ankle. JOKES: - He’s from Hausa folklore in West Africa. Described as “two fists hight”, he’s an immensely powerful trickster with supernatural powers! - (pointing to the previous joke) Just like Danny Devito! - He is accompanied by birds that sing his praises and attack his enemies. Which, hold on — CAN I HAVE SOME OF THOSE BIRDS?? - Rides around on a Jerboa! Which is like commuting on a highly caffeinated pogo stick. - He hears a hat of bees. Which, even for the Met Gala, is a swing. - (pointing to the previous joke) When you’re wearing bees, every haircut is a buzz cut. - He also has a snake for a walking stick, and scorpions for spurs. WHERE IS THIS DUDE SHOPPING? - It’s weird when you have to say to the waiter, “I’ll have the salad, but my cane will have three mice.” - Sometimes people give subtle signs that say “Don’t mess with me.” For him, maybe it’s the bees, the snake and the scorpions? —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters: Anatomy of the Loch Ness Monster DESCRIPTION: a dinosaur-like creature with a long neck, flippers and a long tail, floats in a pool of water. Her eyes are wide and mouth open in a smile. JOKES: - She’s a 66 million year old dinosaur living in a 10,000 year old lake. That math ain’t mathin’. - HOW has she lived so long? A.) She’s always hydrated B.) She never needs to moisturize - Biologically incapable of ever being in focus. - Flippers designed to splash the exact second tourists look away. - Deep down, just wants someone to ask “How is Nessie,” instead of always “where is Nessie.” - People forget she’s Scottish until she yells “ACH YAE WEE NUMPTY” at passing tourists. - Eyes positioned on the sides of her head to maximize her side-eye potential. - She always waits until the research team packs up their gear before doing a majestic backflip. - Scotland gave us Johnnie Walker, Macallan, Gelnfiddich ….and Nessie. COINCIDENCE? —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters: Anatomy of a Fairy DESCRIPTION: A spritely lady with long purple hair, purple wings, a green leaf-dress and purple shoes, holds a wood wand thats throwing teal and purple sparkles. She wears acorns as earrings and daisies in her hair. JOKES: - Hollow bones make them light enough to fly, but also fragile enough to be defeated by a moderately heavy scarf. - The moral compass of a bored house cat + the cosmic power of a neutron star. - Their diet consists of dew-drops, nectar, ambrosia and top-shelf tequila. - Every pose is Instagrammable - Fairies can’t physically lie! …so they’ll stage elaborate, five-act plays just to avoid commenting on your outfit. - The fairy dust is just crystalized sweat. - Fairy Zillow is just endless photos of wide mushrooms. - Let’s just say it: she’s wearing a SALAD. —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
TITLE: Anatomy of Monsters: Anatomy of a Kraken DESCRIPTION: a large humanoid-creature with tentacles at the mouth, a lobster claws for one hand and a clawed-hand for the other, a squid-like head shape with large white eyes emerges from water, splashing water up, tossing a fishing boat. He is red speckled with a lighter belly. JOKES: - Voted “Most Likely to disrupt global shipping” three years running. - Ironically: Allergic to shellfish - He’s a sucker for drama. (And has suckers for drama!) - His bladder is the reason it’s a saltwater ocean. - Tries to time the chorus of “Mrs. Sandman, Bring me a dream” to navy sonar pings. - Has the ultimate dad joke: “It looks ABYSMAL outside” - Tried exfoliating with coral… his butt is still covered in barnacles. - The type who SAYS he’s “five minutes away” when he hasn’t even left the Mariana Trench. —— Want 5,000 more comics like this? Join us at Patreon.com/sheldoncomics for the *FULL* Sheldon archives, art giveaways, fun community, and more! Sheldon Comics copyright Dave Kellett. Colors by Beth Reidmiller
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