Category: Blog

We’ve seen, of course, that Gramp likes coffee in all it’s permutations.

But in looking for the original Folgers lyrics online (couldn’t find ’em), I did stumble upon this little gem from the Folgers vaults.

My friends, this is not a coffee commercial. This is a relationship that needs an intervention. That guy is a monster.

Every time I drive by a “Linens ‘n Things”, it makes me laugh. What a ridiculous name. It’s like the naming committee got off to a good start…but then suddenly realized that lunch had arrived, and just quickly voted for Linens ‘n Things.

I believe the general mood, as they took the vote, was “Meh.”

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And as for Subaru? Ahhh, gentle Subaru. Your cars shall always remain among the pantheon of Citroens and Pontiac Azteks and early-90s Saabs…cars that allowed their owners to broadcast to the world: “I don’t like to look attractive in any way. Please, stop flirting with me and inviting me to parties and fun summer BBQs. Perhaps you didn’t notice, but I drive a Subaru.”

For those who may have missed them, here are the 1, 2, 3, 4 previous installments of the Saturday-only storyline.

Flaco’s pose in the last panel made me laugh out loud when I drew it — which is pretty rare. But that little walkin’ pose makes him seem like such a happy lizard.

(…And for those who just recently started reading Sheldon, I should perhaps explain that Flaco has a bit of a talent with his tongue. Although I think this is the first time he’s weaponized it.)

So here’s the contest idea: guess which top ten countries generate the most Sheldon readers, and win a free, personalized sketch of your choosing!

As you know, it’s possible to tell where in the world Sheldon readers come from, by country, just by looking at the server logs. 60% from the US, 10% from Canada…etc., etc.

So, in this contest, your job is to guess the top ten countries in that list. Is Bulgaria in there? You’ll have to play to find out!

Just head to the Sheldon forum to play, and enter your list of countries.

And if you’ve never posted on the Sheldon forums — make this your first time, and win yourself that sketch!

New Jersey, Montana, Mississippi…it’s like geography class all over again ’round these parts!

Having driven through 49 of these 50 u-nited states, I can tell you that I harbor no ill will for Montana. I like Montana. It’s a great state.

And, if I may share a biographical moment with you, Montana is the coolest place in the world to get hit in the square of your back by a dried buffalo patty thrown by your brother, while your attention is focused on the elk you’re trying to photograph.

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In other news: have you found Arthur’s MySpace page yet?

One of the beautiful things about the web is that any artist at any level can post their work online.

One of the difficult things about the web is that any at any level can post their work online.

It makes it tricky to find work of quality, as you sometimes have to wade through a lot to find the diamonds in the rough. That’s why I always appreciate it when Sheldon readers tell friends to give Sheldon a try. A personal reference from you to your buddies means way more than any link: it’s personal, and it’s based on a shared sense of humor.

And I like to pay that sentiment forward whenever I can. So today, I want to mention three bits of new online artistry that you might enjoy:

1.) Lunchbox Funnies: In their early days, webcomics were largely geared towards the dominant early-adapters of online life: nerds, gamers, and youngish guys. Which is what makes Lunchbox Funnies so interesting. Like Blank Label Comics, Lunchbox Funnies is a collective of webcomics, but intentionally geared for all generations to enjoy. From their press release: “We’ve each been working towards creating highly entertaining comics that can be enjoyed by beginning readers, teenagers, and adults alike. We’re convinced that “all-ages” doesn’t mean “just for kids,” but rather it’s a label that should apply to entertainment that allows for shared experiences across generational lines.” I’ve already found a number of strips in their lineup that I really enjoy — check ’em out.

2.) Barkeater Lake: Looks like Sheldon started a bit of an trend over at comics.com! Fellow comics.com refugee Barkeater Lake has moved to an independent site…and it’s lookin’ good. Head on over!

3.) Jonny Blu: Webcomics aside, let’s talk American jazz for a minute. Specifically, Jonny Blu. My wife and I met Jonny at a wedding a year or so ago, and really clicked talking artist-to-artist. But our fields couldn’t be further apart: Jonny was and is a very successful singer in China(!), and has recently moved to LA to start a new chapter in jazz. And man-o-man, that boy’s jazz is silky smooth. Have a listen!

Why do I always remember to get my hair cut at midnight…when it’s absolutely impossible to get one’s hair cut?

But hey…I live in LA! Surely if I got in a car right now I could find one place in this city where I could get a haircut at midnight…right? Isn’t that the supposed advantage to living in a huge metropolis? You can see a play, have a churro, get fitted for a suit, drop off your microwave oven for repair, and go shopping for Tofurkey…and all at 2 AM, right? I seem to remember those being the big selling points in the big-city-livin’ brochure.

So why not midnight haircuts?

Where is the justice for forgetful dudes with hair that currently looks like George Clinton?? Where is the justice, I ask you??

I’m getting a lot of e-mails “explaining” to me why Capt. Picard became Locutus of Borg, most of which run 6-10 paragraphs (…I kid you not).

But the best e-mail ending I’ve ever seen came from Arjan, in the Netherlands. After paragraphs explaining the minutiae of the Borg, he says:

“…So all in all, there are two very good reasons for Picard to have been given a
borg name and oh my god I just realised what a big star trek nerd I really am,
crap.”

Today’s toon is strictly for the Star Trek nerds.

It’s always sort of bugged me that Picard got the name “Locutus of Borg” (“loquor locutus”, if I have my latin right: to say, speak, tell). Why the unique identity? Why the personalization? What up with that, basically? It makes no sense in the context of the Borg.

The writers tried to save it in the movie “Star Trek: First Contact”, saying Picard was a “special” Borg. But I say boo to that. I say the writers blew it on the first go ’round…and tried to explain it away later.

But anyway! The whole thing got me thinking about distinctive personalities within the Borg collective…and I started chuckling at the thought of Larry and Suzette, of Borg. They’re sort of a happy-go-lucky midwestern couple in their mid-40s. Larry works for Deloitte & Touche as an in-house corporate accounting consultant, and Suzette sells Amway in her free time. They drive a Chrysler Sebring, and have a three bedroom, two bath house in the suburbs. And of course, they’re both Borg.

If it could work for Locutus, I say why not for Larry and Suzette?

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Related sidenote: I’m a gigantic nerd for even finding this funny, aren’t I?

My previous blog post about “That’s a lot of lumber” generated a LOT of very funny e-mails about folks trying it out (or trying to try it out, and failing in funny ways).

But my favorite and least expected response came from German Sheldon reader Jörg, who writes:

“There’s a German idiom which goes: “Das ist eine Menge Holz.”

Of course, a lot of lumber could also be five bucks, it depends on your income and what the five bucks were spent on. 5 bucks for a chewing gum would certainly be a lot of lumber!”

Jörg, thanks for writing. That is complete awesome-sauce that that phrase already exists in German.

“That’s a lot of lumber.” Try it at home today!